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It's ok to have days when you're not ok...
Although my aim is always to inspire others, its important to recognise and share the reality that things are not always sunshine and lollipops when living with depression. Combine depression with perfectionist tendencies and the result is a lot of self pressure and internal expectation!
It's ok for your day to drift by with not a lot of ticking off your to-do list...
The harsh reality of depression is that there are days when it takes a monumental effort of mental and physical strength to complete the most basic tasks...getting out of bed, choosing some clothes, preparing breakfast...tasks that on most days happen without a thought process, on instinct. The pressure that we place on ourselves as Mothers is often unrealistic and with the other pressures of single parenthood and depression its especially important for me and anyone else living with added pressures to practice self care and accept that we may not be ok today.
Today I am overwhelmed, the optimism that gives me that extra bit of ooomph I so often need is tired...overworked and in desperate need of a break! So I am left with little defense to beat off the hazy darkness that sometimes clouds my vision and my outlook. Home hunting, being alone, anxious, working, hoping...these things are swirling in my mind and my body.
I'll be ok...just not today.