What an overwhelming, life changing, mind boggling concept this is - to be completely honest. There are varying degrees of honesty with which we can go about our day to day business, that filter between our thoughts and our voice can be varied to suit the situation. OR it can simply be turned off, for good. No more filter means no more lies of any degree, no more saying yes when we really want to say no, no more holding back from sharing what is really in our hearts.
It is a brave, risky and terrifying step to turn off the filter. I can tell you this from firsthand experience and although I have no regrets since making a conscious decision to turn mine off for good, it has not been easy.
The writing of this post has been inspired by personal experience as well as the discovery of this other wonderful post on the subject '7 Things Happen To You When You When You Are Completely Honest' by James Altucher. James manages to turn the cold hard facts about Coca Cola into an intense life lesson about the fall out from being completely honest in our lives.
James says in this refreshingly honest post, with no uncertainty, that 'people will stop talking to you when you are completely honest.' Indeed they will James. Learning to prioritise honesty over being liked takes a lot of learning through a lot of painful growth opportunities (aka a lot of loss). It comes down to having the absolute commitment to living a transparent life, that is a life that appears the same on the inside and the outside.
'My own personal motto is honesty to a point. I will never harm anyone'. Agreed James. My thoughts exactly, and so Buddhist.
However sometimes the truth can hurt. It is this that can facilitate the end of a conversation, or even a friendship. If the truth that we speak is a reflection too confronting for someone then of course the easiest thing for them is to simply turn away, run away or do whatever it takes to avoid looking into that mirror we have just held up to their lives.
It can feel a little cold, the ego will surface and initiate some guilt and doubt about our intentions. For me at times I am conflicted because my commitment to kindness can seem at odds with the commitment to be completely honest! Yes it gets a little confusing in my head too, as well as here in words!!
So my advice if you choose the path of complete honesty? Call on your inner resilience because it will be needed. Perhaps a little review of the relationships in your life that you know in your heart are not a true reflection of your life values? What are you prepared to lose so that YOU can live the life that is inside of you to its full extent?
As James says in his post: 'People will come back for your advice. Not always because they agree with you. But because they know the advice is coming from the heart and not because there is anything for sale'.
I will always speak my truth, people who truly know me will tell you that my advice comes from the heart and I have nothing to sell except hope.