It has been 3 years since you made your entrance, testing my every inch of body and mind. Determined to experience every little bit of the pain and intensity of child birth, in the end I was unable to make it through the 20 + hours we spent together bringing you out into the big, beautiful world without lots of assistance.
It is funny, trying to put into words the feelings that come with reflecting on that time and the 3 years in between then and now. So many mixed emotions, the added complexity of your two homes, adjusting to life as a single Mum and also the huge change to our lives at this very time that you celebrate your 3rd Birthday.
It is a constant and sometimes loveless experience being a Mother to a toddler, impossible to share my hurt and frustration or explain why you have made me so sad or happy or both. Aching for the time to slow down, at times also wishing it to hurry up so that we can talk in depth or watch a movie together from start to finish.
Your passion, determination and love of people seems to come straight from my book of life and into your very being. It makes me laugh to watch you entertain our visitors, always asking me who is coming for a tea party today Mummy? My little event planner is already following in my footsteps.
I am far from the perfect Mother, to be honest I think that I am a pretty good part time Mother. My work in the charity sector gives me such purpose and my time amongst other adults who share that purpose is savoured. I was not designed to be a Mother who home schools, crafts all day and is known for her patience. At times I am cranky, I snap at you and I must look a bit crazy when one minute I am in awe of your cuteness and the next I am crying for you to just do as you're told!!
The love that surrounds you in both of your homes is abundant and I trust that you will always feel the warmth of so many hands and hearts around you. It does take a village, and the village that you are blessed with is going to be such an amazing influence as your feisty personality continues to unfold and you become the special person I know that you are destined to be.
Remember to always be YOU! The way that you call all of your fellow daycare buddies your best friends just gives me the most wonderful sense of hope. The way that you always say 'you're welcome' when someone thanks you, the way that you show so much love towards your Poppa and your Uncle Toddy makes my heart burst! YOU are a little shining light in so many lives and YOU are going to shine brighter and brighter!!