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Yikes, just did a Google search on this one and within minutes was in so deep I almost needed to be rescued! Lately I have been wishing that I was not such a light sleeper, wishing that I could just snuggle into my bed with my little man and enjoy precious long nights of co sleeping. Sadly though, my anxiety and depression are triggered significantly by lack of sleep.
Just the thought of sharing my bed with a kicking, snoring, squirming little person induces feelings of anxiety. It is not the kicking, the snoring or the squirming itself that causes the anxiety. Nor is it the choice of bed buddy, I love him to bits! It is the deep knowing that all of these things will affect me in the morning, they will keep me awake and deprive me of the healing and energising sleep that I so desperately need every night.
In the middle of writing this post life interrupted and as if by magic manifestation all of the above has materialised! SO ironic, last night I was left with no choice than to accept my little bed buddy into the fold at around 1am. Clinging tightly to the hope that co sleeping may suddenly be blissful as pictured above, I endured 5 long hours of aforementioned kicking and snoring. Pushed to my limits after consecutive nights of bed hopping I am now sharing to soothe my own soul and hopefully reach others in the same state.
*sigh* another round of Mummy vs Toddler leaves me clambering back from the depths of exhaustion again!
I empathise with you Lisa. I don't have a child and I'm currently (and gratefully) single. I don't sleep well on my own and whilst I love having someone to snuggle next to, I sleep even worse than when I am alone in a bed, especially when they snore which they often have. Not being able to get a deep, healing night's sleep can be very upsetting. I hope you get a good night's sleep soon x
ReplyDeleteI had a recent night of bed sharing and it was so horrible and left me mind-numbingly tired for days afterward...
ReplyDeleteI am thankful that my dear daughter shares my hatred for anyone within 6ft radius while sleeping and those toddler years of night-time visits, and even to this day, consisted of a 15 min cuddle and then asking to be taken back to her own bed...
As for partners of the adult variety - I really need to work a way out of that hole... Like you, the thing that keeps me awake is the worrying that if I don't go to sleep, I will be tired in the morning. Then once tired, my body and immune system goes into meltdown... Whether I am sharing a bed, or just a room with a friend I lay there for hour after hour, trying to keep still, trying not to fidget, trying to convince myself that getting up to use the bathroom (again) will not solve the problem. I drive myself nearly insane with the back and forwards in my head...
eventually, in most cases, I become comfortable enough with the person and so tired that by the second night I sleep better. But it is an endless circle...
I love nothing more than snuggle time... Just not when combined with trying to sleep...